You’re trying to workout as little as possible for too much time at once. There isn’t much progress in that. 3 hours is extreme, and I can see why you can’t find motivation to work out-it’s overwhelming! You need to break that into three days. If you aim for an hour of exercise, three days a week, you will find that staying motivated is much easier. And seeing results is all in what you eat. You can not eat terribly and “exercise the calories away”. It does not work that way and it never will. Most people will agree that a “diet” is 70% what you eat and only 30% exercise. Who cares what you’ve done at the gym if you’re eating poorly? When you weigh it out that way, you don’t even need that much exercise!
slight trigger warning
I understand that there will be a mass loss of followers after this post, probably from lack of general update or interest. That is fine, since the count has never meant anything more than the fact that I am helping x amount of people live well. While I encourage you to read on, I also do not mean to offend anyone. Please understand, though, that this post is the beginning of my process of moving on.
It’s hard to know where to begin. So I’ll start with a “sorry, folks!” since I have been very poor at running this blog I am so passionate about. But before you decide to blame it on my laziness, I have a bit of a story to finally tell. It’s embarrassing to me, and that is why I say “finally”. Because, you may think-“Kels? The one who runs a health blog? Never.” You’ll all think I’m stronger than this. But the truth lies in the fact that it could happen to anyone, and that it is not easy to speak about.
Some of you that have been following me for years know that I started this blog to get over my pretty violent eating disorder. And of course, through encouraging others to be healthy, live well, and be happy with the quality of their lives, I have helped myself overcome this huge obstacle. I love you guys for what you have taught me about being healthy. That it is important, and it matters more than my weight.
I haven’t updated truly since May, with the release of my (neglected) magazine. And that was a wonderful accomplishment, as well as graduating, getting accepted into the college of my dreams and obtaining a job at Hollister as a model (if you really want to call it that, haha). You’d think that my confidence would gain a major signal boost! But there was still that underlying issue. I have struggled with my weight for four years now. I’ve always been thin, and I will probably never be honestly “overweight” but those of us who struggle with these issues know it’s much more than something on the outside. It was engraved in my mind. I can’t say where it really originated, I can’t recall why it ever showed it’s ugly head again, nor can I validate if it ever left. But it returned, as bad as before. And these past few months I’ve separated myself from tumblr, because I felt that I was continuously stressing over what to post, and I was always comparing myself to people on my dash anyway-that was clearly unhealthy. ALSO, Tumblr has a lot of triggers, and it could have probably been my extended use of the site that caused me to relapse so badly. I took everything that was unhealthy and threw it away. Unhealthy relationships, habits, even my job was making me unhealthy.
I feel as though I have failed many of you, but also as if I can try again. As I’ve said before, this was completely embarrassing to confess to all of you. It was definitely not easy, but it’s the first step. My blog is what makes me happy, and it took a little break to discover that. I love you all so much, each note is like a little blessing to me. It shows me that what I do matters to others. I’ve never been one to truly give up. I’m recovering, so please bear with me. The problem isn’t nearly over, but I’m taking it into my own hands to end it right here. I’m staying up late every night, content to queue while I’m moving in to my dorm room next week (we don’t have wifi-lame). It’s also out-of-state, overseas, and in paradise. I’m moving to Hawaii, guys! An adventure I decided to take alone. I don’t know anyone there but I’ve already made plenty of friends. I’ve also never been on a plane, so I have no clue what it’s like to live there other than what people tell me. This is exactly the kind of disruption in my reality that I need.
But honestly. I’m going to be updating more. For you, and for myself. I’ve found that it’s so much easier to cope when you know you’re doing something good for others. It also serves as a healthy distraction, and helps me better my design skills.
Thank you all for sticking with me through everything, thank you so much for being patient with me. You have always supported me and you guys are always there for me. I will continue to spread positive vibes and encourage you to be healthy, as sentimentally and as often as I can <3
(Oh yeah! I still don’t get message notices. My inbox is 2,500 messages full. You can send them still, but for some reason I just can’t reply. I have not been purposely ignoring anyone. I’m going to work on getting that fixed ASAP!)
I also have a new theme, please give me feedback! :)
Thanks for reading, guys!